Let us (Draft).

Let us speak in exotic gestures
Moving through the descent
Of a dream, this silent mind escapes
Through the recurrent dismal shadows
In the memory;
A cigarette in a dance, while you never speak
There is silence in a tribe
Scraping to kill each other slowly
Leaving, you’re leaving in the dark archipelago,
The ghost in the isthmus
Upon mercy covered in blood
Kicking like a wave to leave me alone
Whored out to our eyes, lost in the eerie lights and traffic,
Mind mantic, the silence, the silence.

ยฉ 2020 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.


A piece I originally wrote weeks ago, revised a couple times, categorized as a draft. It is not complete, so I might revisit it in the near or distant future again.

  25 comments for “Let us (Draft).

  1. March 15, 2020 at 8:04 am

    Your use of “the silence, the silence” reminds me of Kurt’s words in Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness”. Kevin

    Liked by 3 people

    • March 15, 2020 at 8:05 am

      Kurt’s words being, “the horror, the horror”.

      Liked by 2 people

      • March 15, 2020 at 1:40 pm

        I hadn’t thought of that connection. Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. March 16, 2020 at 12:48 am

    Love the descent of the poem as in a dream into a wicked surrealism. Look forward to what you work on!

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 16, 2020 at 12:55 am

      Thank you, friend. ๐Ÿ˜€ So glad you enjoyed this piece!

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 16, 2020 at 12:56 am

        ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿค“ you are most welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  3. March 16, 2020 at 7:42 am

    โ€œlost in the eerie lights and traffic,โ€
    Loved this part. I certainly can relate, when I had a two hour commute each way to work, the long drive home certainly would lonely and surreal.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. March 16, 2020 at 2:56 pm

    Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:

    WOW—WHAT WRANGLING OF WORDS!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. March 16, 2020 at 9:57 pm

    This is absolutely amazing! Your word choice is so vivid and vibrant; it perfectly illustrates a picture in my mind. You truly have a way with weaving words.

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 16, 2020 at 10:25 pm

      Thank you so, so much. That means a lot! ๐Ÿ™‚ โค

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 16, 2020 at 10:55 pm

        Of course, you’re so welcome! Your poem was a joy to read! โœจ๐Ÿ’–

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Lily
    March 16, 2020 at 10:09 pm

    Haunting and beautiful

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 16, 2020 at 10:25 pm

      Thank you. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  7. March 16, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    You so well played with words here. Truly a pleasure to read your work โค๏ธ

    Liked by 2 people

  8. March 19, 2020 at 3:13 am

    Reblogged this on Four-Calendar Cafรฉ and commented:

    This is a great piece! Artful, elegant in vision with one-two punch imagery that begs to be read over and over again. Well done, Lucy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 19, 2020 at 9:20 am

      Thank you so much, friend. ๐Ÿ˜„ Iโ€™m so happy you enjoyed this piece.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. March 21, 2020 at 12:28 am

    Ok, so unsolicited advice… it seems backwards to me… read it last line to first…before you revise ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 21, 2020 at 12:38 am

      Oh, wow! I honestly hadnโ€™t realized that before. Thank you so much, friend. I greatly appreciate and welcome the advice. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

  10. March 21, 2020 at 6:18 am

    ‘There is silence in a tribe, scraping to kill each other slowly’
    Lovely writing, Lucy.

    Liked by 1 person

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