Hello everyone.
Remember that poll?
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…With the collaboration and challenge topics?
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Well then. This is awkward.
To recall, we had a poll to vote on for the next collaboration or challenge project. The topic that polled the highest was the worst sentence challenge. What else was interesting were the topics that tied in second place: the novel collaboration and the non-fiction contest.
Hereās the deal, I will run one other project alongside the worst sentence challenge so that it can disseminate not only to more people, but so that it can include different options available for writers. More on that near the end of this post.**
The worst sentence challenge will last for three weeks starting July 24thāAugust 15th ending at midnight (August 16th) EST time. Keep in mind, I will not accept any entries under this prompt if submitted after the challenge officially ends.
I want this to be good (bad, I want this to be bad). I want you to maim and torture the Oxford Comma until thereās nothing left but an Ox. Thatās how terrible.
I want you to write the most ridiculous sentences that you wouldnāt even want to share with Grandma.
…Though if Grandma happens to hear it, thatās Grandmaās fault.
This is not a contest, just a writing challenge. I will post all the responses in the order received after the challenge ends. You can leave a pingback or a comment below with your worst sentence to participate in the challenge. Multiple entries are allowed and encouraged.
A primary example of what a worst sentence can be: āSilly Sally with a smile and long-stock pippy stockings walked away from the Barbie grill and said, āItās time to cook mom!āā
It doesnāt have to make sense (like the above), it can use incorrect terms or phrasing, and it can have a crude, dark sense of humor.
Just one sentence pleaseāit can be a long or short one. Nothing more, nothing less. As well, I know we all just want to axe grammar and spelling rules–but if you do so, just make sure it can still make sense to the reader. We all want to appreciate your madness properly.
The rules still apply, though. However, in essence:
I will not accept anything religious, outwardly political, hateful, pornographic, slurs, or anything that is demeaning, threatening or harmful in its content. Please nothing that is against a particular group, or anything that demeans a certain group of people that would be considered racist, homophobic, sexist, religious discrimination or prejudice. I will not accept your piece if that is such the case.
**As mentioned, the worst one sentence challenge is not the only topic I’m hosting. I am as well hosting a novel collaboration. It has very similar rules to the prior story collaboration, but it will be lengthy and as well, it will not have a specific deadline in mind. It will be ongoing until I feel we’re at or near the end of our novel collaboration. Please refer to this post for more information.
Poor grandma if she gets to read the worst one sentence š
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Poor grandma indeed. Letās hope she isnāt wearing her reading glasses. Now that would be tragic.
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Oh true! But I’d like to give this a whirl
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Please do! š
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Ewe said bah to, hell with sheep; shearing last I heard ?
that’s my contribution š
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AH, I’m cracking up at this. Nice one! (or should I say bad one?)
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š
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I written good my entirely: life, “so” dont tell me perhaps , I knew more than I, not you or any one! <— this one on the other hand is credited to someone I once had an argument with online
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Christ, the irony in this one alone… If they were trying to prove a point, I think they missed the meaning of their own point.
That is indeed a pretty bad sentence. My eyes are just straining from this.
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Right, some people just shouldn’t type.
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I agree with you.
Now, I have a question: Would you take offense if I include that sentence when I release all the entries in a few weeks? I’m asking since I’m not sure if you wanted me to or not.
The sentence alone is just so terrible, especially with the given context of it being real, it just hurts to read. It is the true definition of what would be considered a worst sentence.
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yeah I’m fine with that I honestly can’t remember who said it I just wrote it down cos it was so hilarious
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Sounds like I will have many opportunities with many of my unpublished sentences! š
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Hahaha! Well, I can’t wait to read them if you do decide to participate. š
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š ā
I truly hope I lose!!!
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Nothing to fear about winning or losing as it is a writing challenge only. š
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š
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Here’s my entry.
Because of the broken glass all over the ground, but not only the glass, also the horrible smell of the meth lab and the scary dog that could pull his stake out of the ground the way he charges at you, but not only the glass, the smell, the dog, it’s also the riots in the streets every night with terrorists throwing Molotov cocktails into stores an looting them, but not only the glass, the smell, the dog, the riots with terrorists but also the cops arresting people and tear gassing the peaceful people along with the terrorists, but not only the glass, the smell, the dog, the terrorists, the cops, the teargas, also, the weather is stopping me from going out in the heat and humidity, and all those things things are really making the situation go straight to hell downtown, so I had to start ordering my Molly straight from India online and it should arrive tomorrow, then everything will be ok for a few hours.
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Typos are allowed, if not encouraged. š
This is such a run-on sentence, I love it. Probably the longest sentence I’ve ever read in one sitting, hahaha. Excellent work here with great social commentary. The world is indeed so sick and sad.
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Thanks! I been watching too much tv. news and drug shows.
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Wow, this was too good, literally awesome šš»šš»šš»ššššš
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Thanks!
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oops, I made a typo
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Couldn’t get to the other prompt, but I promise I’ll get this one done. Already have so many ideas. Mwahahaha šµ
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I canāt wait to read them. Bring me your worst!
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I have one, it’s up on my blog now. The password is “AW0L”.
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I read it. Your description is appropriate: so bad, it’s good!
Great sentence, my mind is still doing aerobics over what I just read. Fantastic!
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Thank you bunches āŗ
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My entry:
āShe walked quickly up the stairs her amber hued orbs carefully outlined with liquid eyeliner and a bit of mascara looking around as she flicked back her long golden hair as she straightened her blue minidress with the white lacing around the edges, she waved at one of her friends as she went upstairs Iām going upstairsā she said.
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Oh, I just love this. Three times, itās referenced sheās going up the stairs, and how she just casually says it at the end… š It kills me.
Love it. š
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I’ll give this a try:
“he looked through a mirror leaning on his bedroom wall, he was positive he isn’t going to make the cut at the interview and the weather had rained so gloriously he was, so sure he needs an umbrella except the umbrella was wet and not dry.”
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Love this! Thank you for participating.
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All that comes to my mind are the Jack Sparrowās gibberish dialogues from pirates. They are wonderful but not written by me.
Sample-
āNo. If we don’t have the key, we can’t open whatever we don’t have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don’t have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?ā
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Ooh, I like that one. That is indeed gibberish.
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This is actually quite difficult. My entry:
He wasn’t sure which way to go, so he asked the man who didn’t know neither and it was January the 5th of November and tge streets were crowded in the summer heat, he could feel the sweat under his brow and decided to take the path on the way back home where he didn’t have anywhere to live anyway.
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“…and it was January the 5th of November…” Love, love, love that. I can’t stop laughing! Great entry. š
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Thank you. It’s a long standing family joke between my sister and I where one of us (can’t remember which) was in
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Sent before finished: you probably gef it. One of us was adamant that was the actual day!!
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Here is my entry, maybe I will make a post too, but for now, I’ll give it to you here:
When we were warriors, we would want whatever we wish we wanted, we would weild whatever weapon we wanted, we would wear whatever we wished we wore, we would walk wherever we wished we walked, when we were warriors, we wouldn’t want what we will.
š¬š¬L
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This is great! Thank you for participating.
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That L in the end was just a typing error!!
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Good , can you accept any moral story/?
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Could you elaborate on that? š Iām not quite sure what you mean in this context.
Since this is a worst sentence challenge, it can definitely have a moral take on it, just as long as itās a sentence that doesnāt follow the conventional rules; you can have a run-on sentence, switch around the subject and predicate, have a few typos, and whatever else that would create a horrible sentence.
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Oh ! sorry, I want to ask can you publish any story ,it may be heart touching on anyone’s life, or on any treatment of disease or on any values .
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Yes, I do actually. š You can head on over to my submissions page here: https://lucysworks.com/submissions/
I will look over your story, and if accepted, it will be posted in the order received.
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Okay .
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Heres my submission:
Now, since my thoughts are flying in a rather confusing array of directions, at least at the present moment, I thought I would preface this post with the aforementioned disclaimer before I end up lost somewhere in the wilds of Uzbekistan with you sitting there with that particularly enchanting, though perhaps somewhat frustrating (at least for you) puzzled expression on your face that most people end up having when they sit down and read one of my whirling posts, most particularly on nightās such as this when the words are flowing faster than I can logically keep up with, though often, depending upon the moonās cycle or how much chocolate and/or caffeine I may have had before sitting down to begin writing, it can be a rather bewildering experience; whereat, being the kindhearted soul that I am, and never wishing to intentionally lead someone into a grammatical quagmire, as I am for all intents and purposes a good soul ( though you and I both know that even good souls have haloās that glow neon red now and again) I generally tend to use this moment of perplexity to point out that I did warn you, my dearest readers, very early on in our relationship (that being the early days of BnV) that I do have the most annoying (or potentially amusing, dependant once again upon the aforementioned phase of the moon or how much chocolate or caffeine Youāve ingested before beginning to read) predilection to run off on wild tangents of verbosity that would make even Charles Dickensās head ache, but let that go.
Word Count: 258
Sentences: 1
Passive Sentences: 0
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 52.2 ā¦. YES!!!!!!!!!!! (My work here is done, thank you)
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Lordy, I think I have a headache now. š Excellent worst sentence (hey, an oxymoron!) It never ends, doesn’t precisely have a clear point, and I felt like I was transported into a novel using Charlotte BrontĆ«’s tone with Dalton Trumbo’s prose. Fantastic horrible sentence!
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I just made me giggle to write šš
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šš so awesome
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Your going to have to pick up youāre study book if their going to make it to theyāre class on time, to take that test weāre the teacher talks about how were going to get all those corn stalks out of the hay field: that where going to cook up for this dinner next week when the too boys promised to take the pie two grandmas house and not maybe eat a piece on the way to but first you better study four that test before you go too class tomorrow; even still those boys might just chow down on that there desert before we are able to cook the corn at a descent our before hour dad comes home today.
Thereās my contribution. Hope you enjoy…or maybe not so much. š
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Ah, hahaha! This is perfect. I love it so much. I enjoyed reading it greatly, especially with cringing at all the errors and spelling mistakes. This is exactly what I was looking for in this challenge. You nailed it here! š
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š Being a bit of a grammarian geek, the āyour/youāre,ā āto/too/two,ā and āthere/their/theyāreā mishaps always get to me! I am so obsessive with these, my sons have become quite attentive in their writings as well. š… Oh!! I should have added āitāsā and āitsā in there! Oh well. Weāll have to rectify that next time! š Enjoy reading!
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Hey, I know I have posted my piece but I feel like posting another one. I know the rules don’t allow it but you don’t have to include both of them in your roundup post and just choose whichever one you like more. Please can I post another one?? That one feels more bad to me. Sorry for the inconvenience
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No, itās not an inconvenience at all! Iām happy you asked. Thereās no limit in this challenge. You can include as many horrible sentences as you like. š The more, the merrier.
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Oh thanks a lot. Then here you go:
When my mom came to wake me up this morning for school, I was already trying to wake myself up but a few seconds ago I had realised that my mom would come and wake me up, so eventually I had gotten tired of trying to wake myself up so I had stopped trying to wake myself up, so when my mum tried to wake me up, I was back into a big sleep and she was uanble to wake me up so my mom got tired of trying to wake me up so she went away which meant that I was left to try to wake myself up again, but my sleepy brain wouldn’t allow me to try to try to wake myself up so instead of trying to try to wake myself up I decided it was best to just lie there, sleep and try to not to try to try to wake myself up because it would lead me to nowhere and the worst that could happen would that I would miss the school and be rewarded an egg in my maths test and since I am a pure vegetarian, it would be of no use, and this made me think how it would feel like to be rewarded a Pi in maths test as at least I would able to eat it and this delicious thought made me wake myself up.
š
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Oh English Conventions God, please have mercy for us all. š My favorite part was the switch from āmomā to āmumā. Thereās so much to love here with this overall.
The repetition works well too. An excellent worst sentence. š
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Hey, thanks a lot, it means so much to me, you have no ideašš. I am so glad you liked itš¤š¤š¤š¤. Do keep posting these various challenges, they are tons of fun.
Thank you so much once againš
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Just for the fun of it…š¤£
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Oops, pic link didnāt post above… sorry about that…
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Like wot not got write rot.
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š This is a great one and itās fun to read it aloud. Thanks for participating.
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Glad you like this ‘six word’ thing, Lucy!
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Apologies in advance, Lucy. Here’s what jumped into my head. Nothing on the gems above, but you might as well have it. (Is that two bad sentences?)
Space boats screaming to a halt round polyglots of fashionable festering rubbish the entire lot of miserable scabs scathed saucily at several sweet symbiots.
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It can if you want it to be!
That is such a good (I mean bad) sentence. I love it so much. Thank you for taking up the challenge! ā¤
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Hi Lucy….please accept my entry. I know this will sound crazy but i guess the more crazy mire better it is.
“The bossy carpe crab didn’t cut the crap coming out of the cultivated cabbage entangled in the reins of the black horse with donkey ears intermingled with the scales of a poignant preacher preserved in the pickled prunes down the oak well stuffed sniffed cucumbers rotten along the dry carrots cut through the shelled scallops shredded to right amalgamation for making a ripened rotten pumpkin hat adorn the bald head of the caucasian puppy bewildering the thorny roses amidst the moonlit dark night…”
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Oh, this is hilarious! Youāre right indeed, the crazier, the better. I love it. It doesnāt make sense and itās just amazing with the imagery. Excellent work!
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Thank you for your appreciation. Glad you liked it
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Last minute contribution: Sew I said so, and if in essence you don’t think I knowingly know because yo are a no_how know it all, than; what I mean (sic) to say is; suck it, up chum ?
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š Oh, I love that!
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Not that the end was drawing near, or the day was just beginning, but the fact that too many months had passed and finally, without hesitation, the young school girl with a backpack heavy with learning, left the safe haven of her home and neighborhood, cognizant of those who had gone before her into the quagmire of education that promised a degree of brilliance that she so desired during this time of ineptitude.
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This is excellent.
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Hi Lucy, I enter this sentence on behalf of the BBC. It’s a contender for the Real Worst Sentence Award:
Her husband punched the shark until it released its grip and then helped Ms Doyle to the shore.
Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-53792016
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Oh, wow, thatās pretty bad! šš
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oh still time for one more. Okay here goes:
When I went down to the uptown down upised down bar that i saw that one lady talkiing ever so muchly with her big fat mouth dripping with that exfoliated, skin by products; dropping on the floor beside her, “i don’t” know if it truly was that one down: town upside down sign that pointed me in the direct shun of the poop mobile, i love hte poop i pray to himself all the day glo gosh darn time, so if you see me in down town walking with the lady with the exfoliating skin that just she can’t keep everyone from throwing up, it’s just weird!
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Oh lord, youāre too good at this! Thank you for your entries. They all cracked me up. š
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No, thank you, for the ongoing written inspiration. š
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far easier to write a bad sentence than a bad poem
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I agree!
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“Me, that is to say I, as in the presently speaking person… will let me introduce myself first the universally rotund detective Harold Puysoin (pronounced pooey-swan) ‘ave gathered you ‘ere in dis ‘ere parlour to…er, what was it? Terribly sorry everyone I uh lost my… MURDERER! What? Yeah it was him, funny beard, knife, inheritance case closed. What do you mean WHO am I talking to?! Isn’t it obvious!!!?
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Oh, I LOVE this and the name is indeed horrible, but original. Hahaha! What a fantastic worst sentence. Thank you for your entry!
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Cheers Lucy. Writing that was as freeing as it was torturous….that poor sentence. š
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Challenging a trickster to twist your inner ear around soliloquy or rambling commentary contemplating or congratulating some insignificant pseudo accomplishment might seem a worthy enterprise or sweet distraction, but traction can be a problem, since the minnow chooses the shallows over the pike weed beds.
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Ah, hahaha! This is a great one. Thanks for entering it in!
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I am too enamoured of words, their power to engage and their ability to capture the imagination to write a truly horrible sentence. My artform is defined around a specific count of complex sentences. I am sure some might classify many as horribly structured, but I cannot. Brush strokes need not be made with the dominant hand to move the eye as intended.
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That is understandable. I am sort of the same way in that regard.
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