drowning.

as through I dream

the dying things

and brambles

hunch with elbows

of the moon’s hoofbeats

on my white fingers;

mouthfuls of red

or shadows

to the mid-drowning

of the dream, I died once

in the ghost of the sea

you kill me.

© 2020 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.


Written for the dVerse prompt: Write a quadrille using the word Bramble in any form thereof, or even one you create containing the word.


  63 comments for “drowning.

  1. July 27, 2020 at 3:39 pm

    I’m so glad you see brambles as hunched things with elbows, Lucy – me too! I love the image of ‘the moon’s hoofbeats / on my white fingers’ and the idea of dying ‘in the ghost of the sea’.

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 27, 2020 at 4:21 pm

      Hahaha! Hey, I’m not alone here! Whew! 😃

      So glad you liked those lines, Kim–those were my favorite to write. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts! Always appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. July 27, 2020 at 3:43 pm

    The last line. Maybe the dream of every lover who has ever loved.
    Spectacular writing Lucy. 😇

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 27, 2020 at 4:17 pm

      That is true, Kumar, for this piece. 😀 The last few lines deal with how love can consume so much of a person. Therefore, it “kills” them or who they once were. Thank you so much for your feedback!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. July 27, 2020 at 3:45 pm

    Lucy, what a dark and beautifully penned poem. Thanks for joining us!

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 27, 2020 at 4:13 pm

      Thank you so much, Linda. I’m glad to have participated in your wonderful prompt today! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. July 27, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    Eerie and lovely at the same time.
    ….elbows

    of the moon’s hoofbeats

    on my white fingers;

    I love that phrase.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. July 27, 2020 at 4:26 pm

    My favoured of yours. Couldn’t tell you why, but this one left me an inch somewhere else.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 27, 2020 at 5:04 pm

      I’m very happy to hear that! Thank you so much. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Glenn A. Buttkus
    July 27, 2020 at 4:26 pm

    Your wordsmanship, as noted, is rich and sensual. You had me at the “moon’s hoofbeats”, as off beat as a “penguin’s pistol” perhaps. Nice job .

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 27, 2020 at 5:08 pm

      Why, thank you!

      “You had me at the “moon’s hoofbeats”, as off beat as a “penguin’s pistol” perhaps.”

      Now THAT’S quite the image indeed. Penguin’s pistol… Hmm… “Penguin’s got a gun, his whole world’s come undone.” 😁

      Thank you for your feedback and thoughts!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. sanaarizvi
    July 27, 2020 at 4:52 pm

    This is strikingly beautiful, Lucy! ❤️ I love the image of the “moon’s hoofbeats.” Inspired 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 27, 2020 at 5:10 pm

      Aww, thank you dearly. I am so glad that line left you inspired. That warms my heart so much. Thank you again for your kind comment. ❤

      Like

  8. Beverly Crawford
    July 27, 2020 at 5:39 pm

    That’s what happens when you eat a heavy meal before going to bed!! Jokes aside, this is great hair-raising poetry.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 27, 2020 at 5:43 pm

      Ah, hahaha! I suppose so, Beverly. Some lessons are very hard to learn.

      Thank you so much for the kind words and the laugh. I needed that today. ❤

      Like

  9. Rhen Laird
    July 27, 2020 at 5:52 pm

    Wowza, what a poem!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. July 27, 2020 at 10:14 pm

    I like your dreamy take on the prompt Drowning would be a real nightmare indeed. Grasping at the moon’s hoofbeats on the water above only to go on down.

    I died once
    in the ghost of the sea

    Liked by 3 people

    • July 27, 2020 at 10:28 pm

      Thank you so much, Dwight. I absolutely love your interpretation which is very accurate in what I had in mind for the poem. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  11. July 27, 2020 at 10:40 pm

    So like how the images shift in this – each image rushing on to the next – a bit like drowning I guess. Very nice.

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 27, 2020 at 10:41 pm

      Thank you so much! 😃

      Like

  12. July 27, 2020 at 11:01 pm

    Beautiful poem, Lucy!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. July 27, 2020 at 11:15 pm

    hauntingly deep you use words in a wondrous way ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  14. July 28, 2020 at 2:14 am

    Wow! I loved this poem ❤️ The moon’s hoofbeats … wonderful imagery

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 28, 2020 at 2:15 am

      Thank you truly, Christine. I’m so glad you enjoyed this piece. ❤

      Like

  15. July 28, 2020 at 2:40 am

    I died once

    in the ghost of the sea

    Love that. Your brambles are another dark fairy tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. July 28, 2020 at 9:10 am

    Every reward comes with a price. This one certainly is sinister.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 28, 2020 at 10:57 am

      Yes, indeed. Thank you for your feedback. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  17. gillena cox
    July 28, 2020 at 10:25 am

    Love can trample, love can consume us, and at the same time a lover knows the sweetness of love

    Much🍇love

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 28, 2020 at 10:57 am

      Very true. Thank you for your thoughts. Much appreciated. 😃

      Like

  18. July 28, 2020 at 12:50 pm

    This is beautifully deep

    Liked by 1 person

  19. July 28, 2020 at 1:31 pm

    I died once in the ghost of the sea…🐚

    Liked by 1 person

  20. July 28, 2020 at 1:33 pm

    I spent several moments thinking about that intense and beautiful line of your poetry. Tyvm for sharing it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 28, 2020 at 1:33 pm

      Aww, thank you. I’m very glad you enjoyed that line. I thank you for reading it and sharing your thoughts.

      Like

  21. July 28, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    Sounds so sorrowful. Nicely written

    Liked by 1 person

  22. July 29, 2020 at 6:02 am

    kaykuala

    Such is the power of the berries to make one go through the difficulties for the mouthful red all for the fun of it. Wonderful lines Lucy!

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

  23. July 29, 2020 at 7:00 pm

    This is a powerful piece…drowning in love. Perfect imagery.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. July 31, 2020 at 5:39 am

    ooooooh. such magical imagery. that last line is so powerful

    Liked by 1 person

  25. July 31, 2020 at 2:04 pm

    Reblogged this on johncoyote and commented:

    Amazing poetry.

    Like

  26. July 31, 2020 at 2:05 pm

    Hello dear Lucy. I loved your work today. I hope you are enjoying the days of Summer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 31, 2020 at 2:14 pm

      I’m so glad you enjoyed my work, John. That means a lot to me, thank you! ❤️ I also hope you’re enjoying the summer. Stay healthy and safe.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. August 27, 2020 at 3:33 pm

    I like this!

    Like

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