undo.

in starry death,

dido falls like the star,

an explosion to the peremptory

mouths of sea; the sun

bums a cigarette,

we are morsels

to her; i, alone,

do not grieve,

but dreams black

and ténébreux

fall to dissection

of God, troglodyte & beast.

© 2020 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.


Written for the dVerse prompt: Just write a poem of precisely 44 words, including some form of the word bum.


  55 comments for “undo.

  1. August 24, 2020 at 3:38 pm

    This line is a stunner:
    “the sun

    bums a cigarette”

    LOVE.

    Liked by 2 people

    • August 24, 2020 at 4:25 pm

      Aww, thank you Whimsy. ❤️ I really loved the prompt today. It was very innovative and funny. Thank you for it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. August 24, 2020 at 3:40 pm

    Yes I love the same line… you really managed to step out of the lighthearted fun the rest of us did.

    Liked by 2 people

    • August 24, 2020 at 4:27 pm

      Fun…? What’s that? 🥴

      So glad you enjoyed this. I think I’m way too serious and need to lighten up a bit, quite honestly. Hahaha.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. August 24, 2020 at 3:50 pm

    I especially like your second stanza. “We are morsels to her” is encouraging as it removes the burden from our shoulders. Dissection may foretell of an imminent brushing off…

    Liked by 2 people

    • August 24, 2020 at 5:21 pm

      Ooh, I love your interpretation of my piece. You are right! The morsel line was meant to say that we are not THAT important, that essentially there is no burden to bear. Now, with dissection, I kept thinking on how humanity is judged. We can isolate ourselves in thoughts of self-doubt or self-hate. I took from three perspectives, one of the above (which can be God for some), one of the self (the hermit), and one of a beast (which can represent darkness).

      Liked by 2 people

  4. August 24, 2020 at 3:57 pm

    Fresh, original and starry, Lucy. I love ‘the sun bums a cigarette’, which reminds me of the opening lines to Bowie’s ‘Rock and Roll Suicide’, and the triumvirate of ‘God, troglodyte & beast’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 24, 2020 at 5:22 pm

      I’m so glad you think that, and I will have to listen to that song now. Thank you so much for your kindness and feedback. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • August 25, 2020 at 2:19 am

        You’re more than welcome, Lucy. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  5. sanaarizvi
    August 24, 2020 at 4:19 pm

    This is such a stunning write, Lucy! ❤️ I love; ” the sun bums a cigarette, we are morsels to her.”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. August 24, 2020 at 4:40 pm

    Nice one, this is a mysteriou era indeed.
    Happy you dropped by to read mine

    (✿◠‿◠)
    much love

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 24, 2020 at 5:24 pm

      Thank you so much. I was happy to read yours as well (I will leave a comment soon if I haven’t already). I love your work!

      Like

  7. Glenn A. Buttkus
    August 24, 2020 at 4:46 pm

    I am finally adjusting to your poetic, flarff-like style, and begin to look forward to the poetic drippings from your fevered SOCs and profundity. This one had me scrambling for a dictionary, and enjoying the ride.

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 24, 2020 at 5:24 pm

      Aww, I’m so glad to hear that Glenn. Thank you so much! ❤ ❤

      Like

  8. August 24, 2020 at 6:33 pm

    …god, troglodyte, beast…

    It’s all good, but this closing trio…YES

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 24, 2020 at 6:46 pm

      Aww, thank you. I have to admit, I’m biased with those lines. They’re my favorite in this piece too. So glad you enjoyed. ❤

      Like

  9. August 24, 2020 at 6:37 pm

    Beautiful 💓

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Beverly Crawford
    August 24, 2020 at 6:39 pm

    Well God forbid my dreams become tenebreux. and fall to dissection! I have a fear of becoming a troglodyte. (Merrriam and I enjoyed your poem) :)))

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 24, 2020 at 6:49 pm

      Hahaha, right? Here’s to happy dreams and not becoming hermits. So glad you enjoyed this piece. ❤ Thank you for your feedback and for reading my poem.

      Like

  11. August 24, 2020 at 7:30 pm

    kaykuala
    Lots of fun with many new words to digest! Playfully set Lucy, great!

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 24, 2020 at 8:54 pm

      Thank you, Hank!

      Like

  12. August 24, 2020 at 7:44 pm

    This is SO good, Lucy!! Wow. I love “the sun / bums a cigarette,” 🙌

    Liked by 1 person

  13. August 24, 2020 at 10:42 pm

    Great on Lucy! love the dreams falling to the dissection of God…. Very good!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. August 24, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    My dearest Lucy, this is fantastic.
    “mouths of sea; the sun
    bums a cigarette,
    we are morsels
    to her;”
    I am enslaved by your beautiful metaphors.
    You really know how to speak to my heart, Lucy

    “i, alone,
    do not grieve,
    but dreams black
    and ténébreux
    fall to dissection
    of God, troglodyte & beast.’

    I, alone, do not grieve..
    Lucy, you are a phenomenal poetess.
    I, alone, do not grieve.. I, alone, do not grieve..
    Superb!

    Liked by 2 people

    • August 25, 2020 at 12:47 am

      G, as always, it’s an honor, it’s a gift to hear this from you. I’ve been sitting here pondering just how to thank you for your praise, but a mere a thank you is not enough. I thank you from my heart and my poet mind. You’ve encouraged me many times and more to keep writing, and you don’t know how much I’ve appreciated it. I feel honored and as always, humbled. I’m beyond happy to know how this resonated with you.

      “You really know how to speak to my heart, Lucy.”

      Thank you for listening to my heart too in this poem. ❤ Much love and hugs, G.

      Like

  15. August 24, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    what a powerful turn you did with such a silly word! amazing, Lucy!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. August 25, 2020 at 12:16 am

    Marvellous writing (with much education too) – and much profundity. I haven’t read the Dido & Aeneas libretto but I can imagine the chorus singing as the pyre burns. Bravo.

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 25, 2020 at 12:42 am

      Thank you so much. ❤ I have not read the Dido and Aeneas libretto either; I’ve only listened to Dido’s Lament, and it was very impactful to me.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. August 25, 2020 at 3:16 am

    I immediately thought of this song for you Lucy…..

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 25, 2020 at 3:29 am

      Wow! That is so beautiful. Such an amazing song to listen to. Thank you for sharing it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • August 25, 2020 at 3:35 am

        Lisa Hannigan’s is one fav singers…. and this song is full of passion… enjoy…

        Liked by 1 person

      • August 25, 2020 at 3:50 am

        Such a captivating performance!

        Liked by 1 person

      • August 25, 2020 at 3:52 am

        Indeed….😅

        Liked by 1 person

  18. August 25, 2020 at 3:33 am

    I love this – I wondered how you would respond to the prompt, weaving in the word ‘bum’ without losing the dark and tenebrous tone of your work. You have pulled it off again, well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 25, 2020 at 3:44 am

      Aww, thank you Ingrid. It was indeed a very fun and challenging prompt. But, I just had to make what could’ve been lighthearted very dark! 😁 Oh, well. Thank you so much for your lovely words. ❤️ It means a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. August 25, 2020 at 7:07 am

    Like what you’ve written Lucy — come I invite you to time travel with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. August 25, 2020 at 8:52 am

    Dido should have dropped Aeneas like a stone. Good one. Apollo bumming a cigarette cuts him down to size too.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. August 25, 2020 at 10:01 am

    Very stylish. Very unique. Very enjoyable.

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 25, 2020 at 10:02 am

      Aww, thanks! 😊

      Like

  22. September 16, 2020 at 6:15 pm

    A unique expression and a title to go with it. Well done, Lucy.

    Liked by 1 person

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