undo.

in starry death,

dido falls like the star,

an explosion to the peremptory

mouths of sea; the sun

bums a cigarette,

we are morsels

to her; i, alone,

do not grieve,

but dreams black

and ténébreux

fall to dissection

of God, troglodyte & beast.

© 2020 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.


Written for the dVerse prompt: Just write a poem of precisely 44 words, including some form of the word bum.


55 thoughts on “undo.

    1. Ooh, I love your interpretation of my piece. You are right! The morsel line was meant to say that we are not THAT important, that essentially there is no burden to bear. Now, with dissection, I kept thinking on how humanity is judged. We can isolate ourselves in thoughts of self-doubt or self-hate. I took from three perspectives, one of the above (which can be God for some), one of the self (the hermit), and one of a beast (which can represent darkness).

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Fresh, original and starry, Lucy. I love ‘the sun bums a cigarette’, which reminds me of the opening lines to Bowie’s ‘Rock and Roll Suicide’, and the triumvirate of ‘God, troglodyte & beast’.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am finally adjusting to your poetic, flarff-like style, and begin to look forward to the poetic drippings from your fevered SOCs and profundity. This one had me scrambling for a dictionary, and enjoying the ride.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well God forbid my dreams become tenebreux. and fall to dissection! I have a fear of becoming a troglodyte. (Merrriam and I enjoyed your poem) :)))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha, right? Here’s to happy dreams and not becoming hermits. So glad you enjoyed this piece. ❤ Thank you for your feedback and for reading my poem.

      Like

  4. My dearest Lucy, this is fantastic.
    “mouths of sea; the sun
    bums a cigarette,
    we are morsels
    to her;”
    I am enslaved by your beautiful metaphors.
    You really know how to speak to my heart, Lucy

    “i, alone,
    do not grieve,
    but dreams black
    and ténébreux
    fall to dissection
    of God, troglodyte & beast.’

    I, alone, do not grieve..
    Lucy, you are a phenomenal poetess.
    I, alone, do not grieve.. I, alone, do not grieve..
    Superb!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. G, as always, it’s an honor, it’s a gift to hear this from you. I’ve been sitting here pondering just how to thank you for your praise, but a mere a thank you is not enough. I thank you from my heart and my poet mind. You’ve encouraged me many times and more to keep writing, and you don’t know how much I’ve appreciated it. I feel honored and as always, humbled. I’m beyond happy to know how this resonated with you.

      “You really know how to speak to my heart, Lucy.”

      Thank you for listening to my heart too in this poem. ❤ Much love and hugs, G.

      Like

  5. I love this – I wondered how you would respond to the prompt, weaving in the word ‘bum’ without losing the dark and tenebrous tone of your work. You have pulled it off again, well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, thank you Ingrid. It was indeed a very fun and challenging prompt. But, I just had to make what could’ve been lighthearted very dark! 😁 Oh, well. Thank you so much for your lovely words. ❤️ It means a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

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