Planetary motion.

Poetry, Prose, , , , , , , , , 58 Comments

Wept in the death of Gods,

darker still in the gathering ocean,

with only tears that fall to them,

in the red hyssop of the frost

inclined to the penetralium of desire,

as the ocean slips no fate by

its sea song to kill

empty, the abscission of leaf

falls like glass

we could not fall together

as we once had, the very shock

of an ocean like glass

as I fall and drown.

Mirrors felled in cyclorama view

that shallows in the limbs

and land of the sea,

dying

enveloping tessellation

in the horizon’s tongue and depression of autumn

dying

offered

to the haze of snapped bone and tree sap, (you are a worm),

thawing in syrup. My father with columns of stone,

stayed quiet under the sea;

I grew in the orange blooms

soaking in the maples

for as I did not sleep, I did dream of words;

Dissociation of the earth

I fell off the earth

to escape.

© 2020 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.

Reposted for dVerse’s open link night.

58 thoughts on “Planetary motion.”

  3. Wow! This is just exquisite. So full of gems that I would find it hard to pick just one out. I love the flow and the rhythm of it. Just perfect.

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  4. Oh wow… a tantalising finale, falling off the earth at the end of your planetary dream, that really wasn’t a dream because you weren’t really asleep…. your entire poem is exquisitely mesmerising…

    Liked by 4 people

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    1. Thank you so much for your thoughts, Ivor. I’m so glad you enjoyed the poem, especially with your analysis. It really captures what my little poem is about. As with the last few lines, it’s also about being overwhelmed and looking for an escapism, or rather, just an escape of reality and oneself.

      Thank you again. ❤️

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  6. I love how much this poem seemed to spin slowly in my mind, like a top going round or a planet slowly moving. But when I came to the ending, I was amazed at the meaning in the ending that made me go back and read the poem again.

    “Dissociation of the earth

    I fell off the earth

    to escape.”

    What a thought!

    Liked by 3 people

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    1. Oh, wow, I am so thankful for your comment. Your words mean so much to me, and I am grateful you enjoyed this piece.

      The last three lines of the piece are my absolute favorite, since it describes the dissociation of the mind and oneself; how one could feel they don’t have an escapism, especially when life gets difficult.

      Again, I am so happy you enjoyed this. Thank you for your lovely feedback. ❤

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  8. Gorgeous poem. It’s as if you found “Earth” to be more stormy than the “Ocean”. 🙂

    Though, in how you mention the ocean to show a reflection, is like you are identifying with a place typically showing of storms, where storms come from, where storms originate. It’s like that reflection is you “receding with the tide” back to a darker, though more comforting place.

    I’ve always loved your vocabulary in your poetry. Good work as always. 😀

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    1. Oh, thank you so much. I always enjoy reading your thoughts and analysis on my work.

      “It’s as if you found “Earth” to be more stormy than the “Ocean.”

      You hit the nail on the head here. You’re right, this is how the poem aligns with my personal interpretation. Earth has its problems, and this poem outlines the feeling of wanting to just run and never look back in a sense. Hahaha.

      Your analysis is spot on as well with the second point. It correlates to those feelings of familiarity and comfort even if it’s not the best place to be in.

      Thank you again for your lovely thoughts and feedback. You are always so kind.

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  12. I really enjoyed this Lucy, especially this line:

    “to the haze of snapped bone and tree sap, (you are a worm)”

    the “you are worm” gives the poem a sudden tempo shift, like I stumbled into it and can’t escape.

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  14. Not sure if I’ve ever been here before? But this is great, Lucy. I love the ambition and stretch in your work, which is very stimulating… I will be back, for sure…

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    1. Thank you dearly, Björn. When I wrote those last few lines, I wanted it to come off as dissociative and I hoped to have accomplished that. As always, I appreciate your feedback!

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    1. Thank you so much, Peter. I must admit you hit the theme right on the head–this really encompasses a sort of torment for the narrator in this poem. They feel the need to escape, hence those lines referencing isolation and falling off the Earth. Thank you, as always, for your feedback. It means a lot.

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  21. Oh, this is so haunting! I love how “thawing in syrup” seems to connect with “soaking in the maples”, using the autumn/death imagery together with the sense of cloying sweetness is so interesting. I also really like “the very shock// of an ocean like glass” – I think it’s very evocative!

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  22. There is so much fragility in this poem, Lucy: in the ‘red hyssop of the frost’, the ‘abscission of leaf’ that ‘falls like glass’, the ‘ocean like glass’ the ‘mirrors felled in cyclorama view’ and the ‘haze of snapped bone’, it seems as if the whole world is breaking, everything’s falling apart. The final lines come as no surprise.

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  23. There is so much to ponder in this poem, so many exquisite phrases to savor. I like the way these lines elude to the ending…..
    “I grew in the orange blooms
    soaking in the maples
    for as I did not sleep, I did dream of words”

    Liked by 1 person

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  24. I, too, “dream of words”. Five new words to look up, as your dark chocolate verses bite the taste buds, and coat our innards. “you are a worm, thawing in syrup” hooked me. Much to admire here, as per usual.

    Liked by 1 person

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