midnight.

The moon is bitten / like the apple

under the bleats of the corvid / the enceinte tree

my pentrailium / shuts the black heart of lilies 

do not find me, I want to be alone before I leave.

the moon / satsuma hills and mouthfuls of the noose

lay bare and wrest like a baby’s fingers / digits pass

between my hands, a discoid / a discomfort

I know too well. I see your body of glass,

And I’m stranded / like the white worms

in the soil, all tossing in the dirt

with restless leg syndrome; I only

retain a monolith of grief; desert

me now. I tell the moon / to turn away;

the bud of her breast / I’m alone,

I drank the jicama roots of grief

as I turn to leave your stone.

© 2020 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.


Come, join us. I am guest-tending the bar over at dVerse for poetics today. The theme is dark, dark, dark in the form of a ballad.




Categories: Poetry

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

69 replies

  1. Ooh Lucy, how exciting! You will be the perfect host for this challenge and this is the perfect dark ballad to set the scene!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is obsidian dark… sharp and shiny, and also so filled with sorrow with the baby’s fingers that I imagine being the phantom pains from a lost child.
    So many dark images … love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Björn. I’m so glad you enjoyed this piece. What I had in mind is definitely about losing a loved one, and I really love your analysis of this poem. Thank you so much!

      Like

  3. Such deep grief (retain a monolith of grief) by the images of body in glass and stone. A death of a loved one can be very upsetting and no amount of solitude can shutter them. I love black heart of lilies and symbolism of the moon.

    Thanks for hosting Lucy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, yes, you are so right. The death of a loved one is tragic and even with the desire of solitude and being alone, the pain is still there like ocean waves. I’m happy you enjoyed this piece and I’m especially honored to be hosting poetics today. Thank you! ❤

      Like

  4. A stunning simile in the opening lines, Lucy, and such creative use of enjambment throughout your ballad! I love the echo of Greta Garbo in ‘I want to be alone before I leave’ and the eerie imagery in the lines:
    ‘…mouthfuls of the noose
    lay bare and wrest like a baby’s fingers’
    and
    ‘…I’m stranded / like the white worms
    in the soil, all tossing in the dirt
    with restless leg syndrome’.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “a monolith of grief” jumps out here. To turn the moon away at this time. Oh the sorrow 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You are such a tough act to follow Lucy! This was amazing. I particularly loved this stanza:

    “And I’m stranded / like the white worms
    in the soil, all tossing in the dirt
    with restless leg syndrome; I only
    retain a monolith of grief; desert”

    I feel every piece of angst 💕☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. That first line is a stunning opener, Lucy. So many images.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is achingly painful to read – yet at the same time so beautiful and lyrically innovative.

    I am impressed by this:

    do not find me, I want to be alone before I leave.

    the moon / satsuma hills and mouthfuls of the noose

    lay bare and wrest like a baby’s fingers / digits pass

    between my hands, a discoid / a discomfort

    I know too well.

    And fear what this is hinting. Thoughts of loss, self-destruction…

    Experiences felt by many. You (or the anonymous person this is inspired by) are not alone.

    I feel your words, Lucy. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your thoughts and analysis. I intended this poem to be more universal than personal with the aspects of grief and losing a loved one. Self-destruction is another major theme in this piece as well and shutting out others from a state of grief. I thank you again for the kindness. ❤ Take care as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. This is incredibly arresting! I so love the way this ballad flows like indigo amidst the silver at night. Thank you for the glorious prompt 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is dark and deep, Lucy! Stunning writing. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Palpably dark, Lucy. The opening line totally hooked me, and am I GLAD it did. My hat is off.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I really like this a nod to the current predicament, to life and love … you blended them all here!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. The opening line, stellar, and just the beginning of your brilliant approach to the dark side. Superbly rendered, Lucy!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I can sense the loss to me it feels like the loss we have suffered from covid. I think many of us have restless leg syndrome. We long to wander free once again from pain, death and isolation.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. A wonderful ballad Lucy! I love all the unique phrases you come up with in your writing.

    midnight.
    The moon is bitten / like the apple

    under the bleats of the corvid / the enceinte tree

    my pentrailium / shuts the black heart of lilies

    do not find me, I want to be alone before I leave.

    the moon / satsuma hills and mouthfuls of the noose

    lay bare and wrest like a baby’s fingers / digits pass

    between my hands, a discoid / a discomfort

    I know too well. I see your body of glass,

    And I’m stranded / like the white worms

    in the soil, all tossing in the dirt

    with restless leg syndrome; … and a monolith of grief!!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Satsuma hills and mouthfuls of the noose”. Your creative word power is ever amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. The feeling is intense and dark (of course) and I too liked the bitten apple image and the calling of the crow.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Dark and delicious Lucy. I enjoyed it it had just a tinge of sadness but it was in engaging read well written.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. So dark and beautiful. In a weird way I resonate with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. The moon is bitten / like the apple

    under the bleats of the corvid / the enceinte tree

    my pentrailium /
    And I’m stranded / like the white worms

    in the soil, all tossing in the dirt

    with restless leg syndrome; I only

    retain a monolith of grief;

    Oh Lucy, this was me, and still, if I let it inhabit me.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I was hooked at the first line. Brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Lucy, Overwhelmed by the imagery of grief, of the lonely fortress it creates, the grandeur of utter darkness. “I see your body of glass” – Wow. You say it all and so well, I had to just take a deep breath. Brilliant texturing of location, emotion, sensation. And thanks for teaching me more than a word to two 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Deliciously dark (of course). I like the comparison of moon to bitten apple. I imagine a mourning woman in nineteenth-century mourning garb–I think the monoliths made me think of those tombs and huge gravestones from that era.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Lucy, this is exquisite. The imagery is breathtaking.
    “I drank the jicama roots of grief
    as I turn to leave your stone.”
    Sending you plenty of love.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. This is so full of pain Lucy. Absolutely stunning.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. kaykuala
    And I’m stranded / like the white worms
    in the soil, all tossing in the dirt

    A classic show of throes of death. Many may find the prospects frighteningly disturbing certainly on the darker side Great wordcraft Lucy!

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

  27. My breath caught at the last line, even though I knew it was coming. An amazing word painting.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Your use of slashes always fascinates me! It splits the lines and also brings them closer together; I love it! The imagery in this piece is stunning. “The moon is bitten / like the apple”. I have seen moons that look like that!

    “I tell the moon / to turn away;

    the bud of her breast / I’m alone,

    I drank the jicama roots of grief”.

    There is beauty in angst and you capture that feeling perfectly.

    Liked by 1 person

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