Oktavia stood against the light. Nightingale hums simulated the room, a shape of blood lotus forming out from her palms with a pop. There is nothing behind the wall except a space where the wind whistles, and the dead body of an engineer.
Her father.
Oktavia inhibited Elizabet by pulling her close, the depth of her scent inhaled like a coiling python ready to eat their prey. Her eyes, draping ice.
A wave formed between them, a struggling fear in the human. “You’re going to kill me.”
“I’m sorry, my dear.” Eyes sharp, a mixture of her cold features bore itself into her skull.
The bionic pressed down on her netrusion chip.
“What are you doing?”
“I am shutting down. Goodbye, Elizabet.”
“Wait—wait, please, there’s—”
“You did what I asked. Now we’re free.”
The hovercraft, which they were in, crashed.
Written for the dVerse prompt: Write a piece of flash fiction or other prose (not a poem) of up to or exactly 144 words, including the given line,
“there is nothing behind the wall
except a space where the wind whistles”
from “Drawings By Children” by Lisel Mueller.
The ending was not intended to be ironic or initially funny (even though, I laughed so hard when writing it). I had these characters created for awhile, actually, and I just needed to put them in some situation. Might run off with this idea with space-travel and wormholes, I don’t know. My NaNoWriMo goal is already a failure. 😀
Categories: Stories/Excerpts
I might have laughed, too–be careful what you ask for, although I first read inhibited as inhabited Elizabet, which made me think first she was a demon.
I’m also thinking of Hal singing “Daisy, Daisy.” 😀
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Hahaha. Okta is not so far from that description. I thank you so much for your thoughts and feedback. It’s always appreciated. 😀
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You’re very welcome. 😀
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Such powerful imagery in this one especially; “the depth of her scent inhaled like a coiling python ready to eat their prey. Her eyes, draping ice.” Very Novemberish, Lucy! 💝💝
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Thank you so much, Sanaa, for your lovely words. ❤ ❤
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I read “inhabited” too. This is grand Flash Fiction, Lucy; straight up wonderful. You tell a lot of story with dialogue and limited exposition, and this contrasts well to your “normal” dark poetry style.
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Thank you so, so much, Glenn. I always make my writing style different with fiction; I still indulge in those dark themes but it is more direct and up front in contrast to my poetry and prose-poetry.
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There’s more than one way to be free, this way being the darkest and I never saw it coming. Well told tale, Lucy, all the more because you leave us wanting more of the backstory.
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Thank you so much, Dora. I’m also glad that you didn’t see it coming–I was a bit nervous about if the ending would fall flat or if it were predictable.
As for backstory, I have it for the most part but I’m still piecing it together.
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Awesome! I hope your fans will get a chance to read it soon. This is such an intriguing sci-fi plot! 😍
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Wonderful dark mystery here Lucy. Ominous, threatening, and fantastic!
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Thank you very much, Rob!
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It is amazing how thoughts and inspiration wait around for just the right time to be written! Your sci-fi drama sounds like it could be resurrected and continued further!
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Thanks, Dwight. 🙂 I plan on doing something with it.
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Great!
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All’s well that ends well, which this didn’t. Interesting triangle going on there.
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Hahaha, exactly. Thank you so much!
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🙂
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I saw inhabited too. I like the idea of crossing over, or is it between? (K)
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I’d say something in between. 🙂
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I love your opening and how we get mystery right away with the dead body of an engineer! This is a great piece, you should definitely write more science fiction!
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Thank you, Tricia, so much. ❤ ❤ I will definitely do that!
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I’m guessing at each turn of this writhing python tale – action from the outset, lots of unanswered questions, twist after twist and the terrific denouement – the true story-teller at work.
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Peter, that means so much to me. I am so glad you think that! ❤ ❤ Thank you very much.
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When A.I.s turn bad…there’s dark horror here, told almost matter-of-factly – love it!
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Thank you, Ingrid!
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And so tomorrow crashes and burns.
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Oh, yes, it does.
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Real story teller Lucy…. Great work, love it’s darkness. Very cool read ❤️❤️
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Thank you. 😊
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I agree with Glenn, Lucy, a lot of story with dialogue and limited exposition, which contrasts with your poetry style. I love the mix of Gothic and sci-fi (Sci-Goth?) and the surprises: the ‘shape of blood lotus forming out from her palms with a pop’ and the crashing hovercraft.
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Thank you so much, Kim. 💗
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“Wait—wait, please, there’s—”
This phrase sticks out. There is an untold story exposed by the staccato reactions. Clever mystery played out Lucy!
Hank
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There actually is an untold story. 🙂 Thank you so much for your feedback, Hank.
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Lots of blood and venom, then, poof! They’re gone. As others have said, I wonder who they are and why.
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Thank you, Jane. 🙂
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🙂
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A great bit of storytelling, Lucy. Enjoyed reading it.
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Thank you, Misky!
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Nice science fiction. There was one misstep. ‘…in which they were in…’ is redundant. I would be better with only one in
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Thank you, Larry, for the feedback. That is a good point and I agree with you on that. It does seem redundant.
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I love how you surprised me with the body of the engineer, her father first… then I wondered and ended up in something more sci-fi. You made me think of a cross-over between Kill Bill and Matrix here.
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Thank you so much. I am glad it came as a surprise to you, and I am especially grateful for your feedback and compliment. Thank you. ❤
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