if I were

Reading what I have just written, I now believe

that if I were to die, I will not remember any of the words I have written, nor the words I have read,

how shall I tell it?

The tree itself will live far longer than I. It is lovelorn, it is the red pine that falls like clockwork. Only then would I think I saw this before. Fossils and skull-caps of the ocean, it rapes each wave onto the root-llano, the flower of death.

Kneels, the dark mossy rain, it was finding your bones. The upbringing of a stranger not myself.

How I stir from the comeuppance of a dream, or is it the hand that digs the flower’s thorax and ribwort leaf into my side? Give me the thorn instead, and I’ll stab it in my ribs just to feel something.

© 2020 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.

Written for the dVerse prompt: Write a piece of prose (fiction, nonfiction, or creative nonfiction) that is 144 words or less in length, and includes the line “Reading what I have just written, I now believe”.

Categories: Prose

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

64 replies

  1. “Woah, this is heavy!”
    -Marty McFly

    Liked by 2 people

  2. That last sentence is disturbing! Yeeeeow!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. No, when we are dead we won’t remember a thing, but sticking a thorn in the flesh will at least leave a short memory.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This has dark undertones , very clever write

    Happy Monday


    Liked by 1 person

  5. There is something raw and tortured in this writing which stings like that thorn at the end. Your dream sounds quite nightmarish and tormented.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Love this especially; “The tree itself will live far longer than I. It is lovelorn, it is the red pine that falls like clockwork.” Your writing is mesmerizing as always! swoon 💝💝

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Indeed… being numb in a void is so much worse than the pain of a thorn… really well written.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Damn, Lucy, your prose titillates, torments, and amazes just much like your poetry. I get all Zen about death. I’d like to believe the soul remembers every word and every moment of their past life during the “life review”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, Glenn, this is quite the compliment! Thank you so much.

      “I’d like to believe the soul remembers every word and every moment of their past life during the “life review”.”

      I must ask: Have you ever read “Many Lives, Many Masters” by Dr. Brian Weiss. The life review is a concept he goes over after the soul leaves the body, and there are different “planes” we cross to depending on what we have learned in each life we cycle. It’s very philosophical.

      I’d like to believe that we remember everything during then as well; I feel it makes it more worthwhile, the ability to recall.


  9. Great work Lucy! The ocean way washes all of that which was us away!! Your last lines remind me of the Johnny Cash song, Hurt!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. A Catholic girl can never escape the Church and its “sacrifice”. Very Dark and very cool Lucy!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. It must be sad and scary not to feel–and so much so that pain is welcomed.
    I always get little movies in my head from your poems. This one was a Catherine from Wuthering Heights sort of scene on the moors. 🤣 I’m imagining ghosts, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Killer writing, Lucy. This piece elicits all kids of feelings. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Stepping off nicely from the given prompt, and building beautifully all the way to that FANTABULISTIC closing sentence, Lucy, this piece R.O.C.K.S!!
    I bow before thee.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I don’t know. I’ve been in such pain before I think it burnt my nerve ending. I find that not feeling is preferable. But, then again, someone like me can’t be a proper judge, maybe.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. great questions Lucy … I think we are reborn but are too confused to remember. I am hoping with training we can/will recall.

    And that numb not knowing is real progress … hope you are not self-harming.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you so much, Kate.

      No, I do not self-harm. Most of the poems I write, they are never from my perspective. The “narrator” changes, so it’s more of the poem having its own identity. I get ideas, thoughts, on what to write and I do put something of my own here and there. Usually when I do, I explain in an author’s note; but even as a “poetess of darkness”, I am actually quite happy and well. 😀

      I hope that clears everything up, but I thank you for the concern.

      Liked by 3 people

  16. Comeuppance is a nice word. Lucy still works hard 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I plan to stay here on the earth as a ghost, not to see what happens after I’m gone, but to keep watch over my loved ones. Sadly, I have forgotten a lot of what I have written over the past six years, and often go back to look for a poem or a story to rework, and I don’t recognise them! I love the second paragraph about the lovelorn tree and the ‘fossils and skull-caps of the ocean’. I have never dreamt about digging up someone else’s or even my own bones, but I do remember my emotions being so numb I needed to hurt myself just to feel something. A brooding piece, Lucy.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. The elements will tell the story. But we will mingle with them. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

  19. This is very deep made me think.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. How awful to need to inflict pain just to feel something. This was very dark and disturbing (and brilliantly written)

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Beautiful, transcendent verse that takes one to a more ethereal plane.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Beautifully written, Lucy. A thorn in the side lets you know you can feel.

    Liked by 2 people

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