I die shambolic.

Each murderous thorn, it will vanish
like the women and thunderbirds
born again, the rampike is covered 
in frost
shambolic, for shame you had none;

like the women and thunderbirds
death again, oh god am I distant?
And homesick, last summer’s eve, you’re a bastard

born again, the rampike is covered 
in frost
chilled by father’s eye,
 I’m handed enigmatical roses; I die

shambolic, for shame you had none;
lady, daughter, stone
I feel none.

© 2021 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.

Written for the 6/17/2021 dVerse MTB prompt: Write trimeric following the pattern invented by Charles A. Stone.



Categories: Prose

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

59 replies

  1. Lucy, in addition to deeply enjoying your poetry, I think there’s almost never a time that I read one of your poems and don’t learn a new word or two. Rampike! Shambolic!


    David

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Such powerful use of repetition in this poem. You really create the emotion. Great piece!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Daughter and princess of darkness, your poetics swirl in macabre corridors, and all the egress have broken locks. You still manage to morph your style on a trimeric, unafraid of parameters, oblivious to convention. I take a knee to your creativity; atta’ girl.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Genius, as always Lucy! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Whoever this person is has left the MC severed from all that is alive 😦 Even though the pike is frozen, the monster long gone, still it pierces the soul. There has to be a way to break the enchantment!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Deathly chilling trimeric poem – I love this Lucy. Your unique voice shines through the poetry form.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. “like the women and thunderbirds
    born again.” Intriguing.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. ‘shambolic, for shame you had none’: the repetition calls out the shamelessness of the offender here. A strong voice comes through the dark torment. Thank you for teaching me a new word in ‘rampike’ also 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  9. thank you for showing me the word rampike. i feel ever thorn in this poem gretaa piece.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. the weight becomes heavier and heavier until that final word – felt like the last boom of the drum

    Liked by 2 people

  11. laid aside for another day

    Liked by 1 person

  12. So that’s what happened to Sweeney Todd…just kidding! (But kind of not, actually?!) Love this poem, especially the line: “And homesick, last summer’s eve, you’re a bastard.” 😀 I don’t know why that made me cackle but it did. I love the comparison here too: “Like the women and thunderbirds, death again” – what on earth’s going on? I’m not sure but it’s so lavish ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Aww, thank you for the lovely feedback. The first stanza is where I don’t know what’s going on either as that was from a draft I pulled out from long ago; the other stanzas being written for the prompt. I forgot what I had in mind with that, but following with the three stanzas, it’s about being disoriented from being secluded and within yourself a lot around others. It can just make you want to break out of your skin to be yourself, and you can’t.

      Thank you again for your kind words and feedback. It warms my black heart. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ha ha! Mine too. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love the mystery of it, it reveals just enough and yet keeps you guessing. In the early days, I used to find it frustrating when poetry was too mysterious but now I prefer it being a puzzle and just let it wash over me and see what sensory impression I’m left with. Although I love candid poetry just as much. Anyway, my black heart always enjoy your imagery! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I feel the chaos in this Lucy!!! Brava!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. You never cease to amaze me 😀 this is absolutely outstanding! 💝💝

    Liked by 2 people

  15. for shame you had none;
    lady, daughter, stone
    I feel none.

    Love your close, Lucy! There are times when one tries hard to accept but there are distractions, true enough!

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Lucy,
    You write to an operatic score, sublime, profane and engrossing.The trimeric form is a perfect vehicle for this, a captivating web.
    pax,
    dora

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Another tour de force. I especially like your word choice– enigmatical, shambolic, thunderbirds, rampike. They force the reader into a different reality.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. That repetition works so well to reinforce the enigmatic tone of the verse. As always, something new to learn. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Once again my friend, you jolt my day pleasantly to a different perspective, enabling me to see life fresh — not always bright, but new and less jaded. Thank you! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  20. I like the way the rhythm of the text also disintegrates. Those hard words at the end. (K)

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Wow. So dark and atmospheric. I love this – it read almost like a stream of consciousness to me, but I’m sure there’s lots of deeper meaning here. A poem to be read over and over – I think I’ll find something new in it each time.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Loads evoked. Love your writing.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. The sense of death still alive in the thorns and the dead tree makes me think of the original sin of the bible… especially with the last two lines

    lady, daughter, stone
    I feel none

    Liked by 2 people

  24. i’m curious if you ever record your poetry -that last stanza carries such gravitas ~

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Thank you for sharing.

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. I die shambolic. – correct vibestv

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