My father was a man like Augustus.

My father was a man like Augustus.
Lest, (I) don’t forget absence
in the family tree—he turned away
from his as they, crimson, were delusional. Blood doesn’t mean anything
on my bosom, and loneliness was refracted
by my memory.

                                                                        Forgiveness alone
                                                                        does not mean a thing to me
                                                                        in the madness of roses.

My father was a man like Augustus.
He started with nothing. It is unmistakable
the disenchantment he feels when he was born still,
naïve at a time, but now withdrawn from their stares
and dying, penitential lips.

We are all capable of antenatal
emptiness. Then duplicity. Just as forgiveness can be forgotten,
so can be blood.

© 2021 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.


Written for the 08/02/2021 dVerse haibun prompt.




Categories: Poetry, Prose

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

87 replies

  1. Hauntingly beautiful, as well as esoterically poetic. Brava on this brave experimentation!

    Liked by 8 people

  2. The/your father crops up often in your poems in a sinister way. The emperors were mostly bloody too.

    Liked by 8 people

    • Thank you! I know it does come off as sinister a lot and especially with the comparison to Roman emperors, it can look bloody. I was hoping to communicate that sometimes blood is not enough to forgive the people who raised you. Hence, the bloodiness. 😀

      Liked by 4 people

  3. I like the texture of this, it seems multilayered and this makes it especially poignant. Beautiful

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Always poignant. I appreciate the comparison between forgiveness and blood being forgotten (and not to mention when only forgiveness can be given when blood is involved).

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Such darkness, Lucy. All power tends to corrupt.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. My son-in-law described his father as “like living with Mr. Spock, a man devoid of all emotion, spewing a twisted sense of logic and a heart frozen in a glacier of indifference.” A pox on such fathers and grandfathers. I like your feistiness in dealing with the Haibun form. You always find a new path and perspective, and never disappoint.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. You took this prompt on a most interesting trip… Your comparison of your father to Augustus make for a great haibun.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. What can I say – Blood is thicker than water.

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Ah! Man’s folly. Lovely interpretation Lucy.

    Liked by 5 people

  10. Fantastic. The way you wotked thus prompt.

    Stay Safe

    Much❤love

    Liked by 5 people

  11. The effects of that father whom we needed as young children, but was, never there to, love us, unconditionally, sure would, haunt us, for, the rest, of our, lives all right…

    Liked by 4 people

    • It’s a sad case for many indeed. My father lived through that, and because of it, he’s been the best damn father he could be to me. Thank you so much for your thoughts and analysis. ❤ ❤

      Like

  12. Strong and proud piece Lucy, darkly elegant — and I love your interpretive reimagining of the Haibun form. Extremely effective. You always, always captivate my friend. For you it’s your father. For me it is my mother.

    Liked by 4 people

  13. I loved this Lucy. It resonated with me on many levels. Your ending ‘We are all capable of antenatal
    emptiness. Then duplicity. Just as forgiveness can be forgotten,
    so can be blood.’
    Why should we forgive and forget the harm done to us because of blood? There are many wrongs that do not warrant forgiveness in families 😢 Well done! ☺️

    Liked by 4 people

    • So true, Christine! I don’t think there should be forgiving and forgetting. I think forgiveness can be for ourselves to let us go from the pain caused by others, but I don’t think forgetting is part of the process here. Acknowledging what’s happened and trying to grow with it is probably the best thing to do.

      So many people in families do not deserve forgiveness. We shouldn’t give them the luxury of having forgotten the issue either, even if we can’t confront them. It’s heartbreaking what some go through in this. Thank you so very much for your thoughts and feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. There are hints of history woven through this, and done very well.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. A visceral write! There are times when you wish some of the crap that goes in to making you who you are, would just not be. But it is what it is, isn’t it.
    A good one.

    Pat

    Liked by 3 people

  16. Heart achingly and breakingly beautiful, Lucy. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Powerful and hitting really hard, dark but so so elegant. Sometimes blood means everything and sometimes absolutely nothing, I really liked how you compared your father to Augustus, the way you went on with it was brilliant. I even loved the last lines, the perfect way to put it all to rest. Exceptional writing Lucy, loved this so much ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  18. I like this very much! ❤️
    I never knew a haibun could be written in this way.
    I agree, family doesn’t have a carte blanche on forgiveness.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you so very much, Punam. I always like messing around with established forms and I usually struggle with haibuns, so this came much more naturally. ❤️❤️

      Families are so complex and difficult in their own right, but essentially we don’t need to give our forgiveness to those who hurt us time and time again.

      Liked by 2 people

  19. he feels when he was born still,

    You are such an unbelievably clever wordsmith, Lucy. Bravo!


    David

    Liked by 3 people

  20. I love the haiku… the madness of roses, i just imagine all those thorns and the deep velvet colour (crimson?) and that violence set against the (weakness?) of forgiveness.
    Forgiveness alone
    does not mean a thing to me
    in the madness of roses.

    And the line “We are all capable of ante-natal emptiness.” So haunting.

    This is strong stuff.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you so very much, Worms! I always enjoy reading what you think and how you interpret my work. 😀 It’s ironic how I implied forgiveness is weak here as in reality, I think it’s such a strong action. Though, I think that specifically with forgiving to let the pain go from us and not so much forgiveness for others’ past actions—if that makes sense. I only recently learned that forgiveness has hurdles and setbacks. When I thought I could forgive someone and the pain comes flooding back tenfold, it’s a process of grief and letting go, in my experience that is.

      That’s the beauty in it—we get to determine where our forgiveness lies, to what extent, and with who.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Just as forgiveness can be forgotten,
    so can be blood.

    This chills the bones. But I believe it to be true. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  22. Wonderful and haunting haibun Lucy!

    Liked by 3 people

  23. There seems to be violence between everyone and everything in your poetry. Is this a reflection of your family relationships? If so, why not be more direct? If not, what is your reason for presenting the world in that way? (K)

    Liked by 3 people

    • I see Jane asked you about your father and you replied it was not to be taken literally–that makes me feel better. I’ve seen how the inability to forgive and/or be forgiven can tear people apart. I’m glad this is not you.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you, K. I wanted to write a piece about my father turning away from the people who treated him badly. In this case, this is more non-fictional but I always like to add a spin of dark imagery so that’s not to be taken too literally.

        Most of my poems are fiction, but here and there, I’ll tell a real story through them and they’re not too bloody. 😉 I am so often inspired by Plath and Sexton, I just slip easily into the imagery especially as a writer who likes sprinkles of sci-fi and horror.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Your imagery and love of words always come through. I hope your father has found some kind of peace.

        Liked by 1 person

  24. A harrowing and haunting write Lucy, intense and beautiful.
    “Forgiveness alone
    does not mean a thing to me
    in the madness of roses.”👏👏👏
    What an amazing line!
    🙏

    Liked by 4 people

  25. Poignant and heartfelt ❤️😘❣️

    Liked by 4 people

  26. “loneliness was refracted
    by my memory . . .

                                                                        Forgiveness alone
                                                                        does not mean a thing to me
                                                                        in the madness of roses.
    

    Stunning writing here, Lucy!

    Liked by 3 people

  27. Your poetry is astonishing. I am intrigued by your treatment of the haibun form.

    Liked by 3 people

  28. It seems your father has a great influence on you.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Beautifully written! It’s so poignant

    Liked by 1 person

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