Lonesome.

Culling your humanity
to my wrists, 
my unbridled bride
take pride in that; shun
tremendum, 
she’ll never go home

I die a little more
to see you

I am lonesome, your 
malaise will stray unsought
like a marionette,
I’d only love for you to stay.

Mesmeric, I’d remember this
moment. Lost in the moon’s oneiric pocket 
disabuse your mother’s worry
spare me her cries 
she doesn’t care; my deluded sister,
I’ve seen the garden in my hell,
buried in plutonic graves

whisper
my child
each mourning unloved
but I love you;
your final resolve

[I]
 fell and fast
first frost and finally coquelicot death.

© 2021 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.

Written for the 08/03/2021 dVerse poetics prompt.



Categories: Poetry, Prose

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

72 replies

  1. This has such intensity. I love your word play – this would be great to hear read aloud.

    Liked by 7 people

  2. This prompt was made for you! Deliciously woven, the imagery courses through and through like waves, I especially love; “I am lonesome, your malaise will stray unsought like a marionette,
    I’d only love for you to stay.”💝💝

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Beautifully capturing the nature of the relationship and the mind of someone who is justifying their unjust behavior.

    I am curious about your writing process that pulls in such uncommon words such as tremendum and oneiric, do you seek out such rare words or do you just have them ready off hand? As I shared before, I like your use of these words because it reads less generic with them sprinkled in, and forces the reader to pay attention.

    Liked by 6 people

  4. I can definitely feel Persephone coming through in this, Lucy, a lost raw side to her. Some gorgeous turns of phrase. My favourite lines:

    “I die a little more to see you.” – so evocative!

    “Your malaise will stray unsought like a marionette.”

    “[I]
    fell and fast
    first frost and finally coquelicot death.”

    And quite simply the words “tremendous”and “plutonic” are a win for me. Great piece ❤

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Sounds like an experienced narcissist love bombing the naive target. Hoping I’m close? Hades would be the practiced narcissist and Persephone the target.

    Liked by 4 people

    • You’re not only close, you’re right on the money here. It was an experience to get into a narcissist’s head and love bomb Persephone this way as if I were Hades, but it’s also sadly relatable in unhealthy relationships. I always thought Hades and Persephone would have that type of dynamic, if not worse. Thank you so much, Lisa. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Beautiful, intriguing, captivating, mystical — these are certainly among the words your writing always stirs to my emotional surface. I sometimes feel disingenuous calling them to service so often in my comments to your work — like I am being insincere. But still they come, and they are all this poor fool has to offer… in other words Lucy — I really like your poetic shit, it kicks ass! 👍😉✌🏼

    Liked by 5 people

    • Oh Rob, I never felt that you were disingenuous with your praise. It really means a lot to me that you enjoy my writing and the encouragement you give helps me keep doing that as I’ve certainly had times where I just wanted to quit poetry. Thank you so, so much. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow. I am always amazed at the language you create and the intensity of the verse. Reflecting upon this one, dear Lucy. Love it. ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Trapped and forever unloved… An interesting though chilling perspective from Hades point of view in the story! Well done Lucy.

    Liked by 4 people

  9. This honestly feels like it should be sang as a song. Lovely piece!

    Liked by 4 people

  10. So intense and beautifully woven, it was really captivating. I loved the intensity of it, some brilliant wordplay. A beautiful piece Lucy, loved it ❤

    Liked by 4 people

  11. this stirs me in a way only fathers wanting to protect their daughters would get. the line “i die alittle more to see you” breaks my heart as a father. amazing poem.

    Liked by 4 people

  12. You are unfailingly poetic and your images strike to the heart. I too like the unusual words you choose. I love the opening lines! And I love the moon’s oneiric pocket and the alliteration at the end!

    Liked by 4 people

  13. whooaaa! 😮 What a fabulous write Lucy!
    “Lost in the moon’s oneiric pocket…” love this line!🙏

    Liked by 5 people

  14. I love your poetry, Lucy, but I find it hard to read in red on black. It’s probably my age, but my eyes don’t seem to focus well enough. Thought I’d mention it – maybe no one else has the same problem?

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you so much, Polly, but I am sorry to hear about this issue. This would be the first time of someone telling me this specifically, but I definitely want to make it easier to read for you. 🙂 My color scheme is red and black, but let me see if I can play around with the coloring a bit when I get the chance. Thank you again for letting me know!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. A true plunge into the depths of Hades! You have captured the psychological trauma which I feel could be read as a subtext of the Persephone myth. I love this!

    Liked by 4 people

  16. Oooh! This is so good, Lucy! You went right under the skin of their relationship. Love this. ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

  17. You’ve definitely expressed a toxic relationship, Lucy. I like how Lisa put it– love bombed by a narcissist. I like the alliteration at the end–it makes the words stand out but also flow at the end.

    Liked by 4 people

  18. That is so powerful, it is like the dagger plunging into a cunning soul

    Liked by 4 people

  19. disabuse your mother’s worry
    spare me her cries
    she doesn’t care;

    these lines in particular really made me cringe, Lucy!

    -David

    Liked by 2 people

  20. whisper my child
    each mourning unloved
    but I love you;
    your final resolve

    Love this Lucy! A fitting take on a mother’s love. It is giving vent to feelings of regret and desperation of her missing daughter. much as a final resolution to losing hope. It even runs smack against a likely unnatural relationship between the father and daughter. Powerful rendition Ma’am!

    Hank

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much, Hank! I love your interpretation of this piece. I wrote it through the perspective of Hades manipulating his child bride, but with the lines you mentioned, I can definitely see the mother’s love take.

      Like

  21. This is sisterhood of a very deep harrow, filial to labors down under. Of a burden shared.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. There is no love applied here, only power and possession. You have a sinister talent.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Love this poem, wonderfully powerful word weaving…🌸

    Liked by 2 people

  24. So much emotion. The discomfort of unreliable bonds. You beautifully express your thoughts and feelings with much poetic grace. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  25. “I’ve seen the garden in my hell,
    buried in plutonic graves”
    What powerful words!

    Liked by 2 people

  26. What Rob said, and more, Lucy. You are a font, an aquifer of dark creativity. This is the only poem I’ve seen that takes on Hades’ POV, which you did in spades–so much so that you sprinted past sarcasm, and created empathy for Hades; not an easy task.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so very much, Glenn. I really appreciate your kind words and support much more than you’d know. ❤️❤️

      It was weird diving into Hades’ point of view especially when he manipulates Persephone, but I’m glad I was able to do it.

      Like

  27. It is difficult for me to understand but it has deep meaning towards the mother.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. the sounds you mixed with your haunting phrases require an oral presentation for this poem, Lucy. the refrains felt like drums banging harder and harder as you repeat them. vivid.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Wow… what a nice poem, I really enjoyed it

    Liked by 1 person

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