Solitude’s simplest explanation.

Strange forgottens, Medusa’s eyes
left me here. A mirror for what I let die.

from my cynicism, my garden of regrets
in a woman’s beautiful face,

I stay as the monk’s ghost
linger like Arabia’s perfumes

Garden bones dangle in illusion
of our homes. Leave me alone,

memories waylay into absence 
self-portraits of a baby Pharaoh 

strangling in the rib-cage
decathect from convex blooms

Mother, father, cannot be ashamed
but I refuse to let myself feel it

I considered apathy at one point
maybe even psychopathic tendencies

just not to feel anything beyond me
in solitude’s Occam’s razor.

© 2021 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.
Final Draft Version.

Strange forgottens, Medusa’s eyes
left me here. A mirror for what I let die.

Blood-soaked alphanumeric lights
almost intense on the sand;

it attracted me
in abandonment. It was magnificent.

from my cynicism, my garden of regrets
in a woman’s beautiful face,

I stay as the monk’s ghost
linger like Arabia’s perfumes

perverse, to crush one’s hopes
before I ever got the chance to find out;

Garden bones languidly dangle in illusion
of our homes. It’s only a ghost to me now.

Leave me be in idle words
and fragrance, le mystèrea face smiles;

memories waylay into absence 
self-portraits of baby Pharaoh 

strangling in the rib-cage
decathect from convex blooms

Mother, father, cannot be ashamed
but I refuse to let myself feel it

I considered apathy at one point
maybe even psychopathic tendencies

just not to feel anything beyond me
in solitude’s Occam’s razor.

© 2021 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.

Written for the 08/17/2021 dVerse poetics prompt:

  • Write a poem that’s loosely based on Korean folklore. You may opt to create a tale of your own in regard to a myth or legend you might have discovered.    0R
  • Write a poem using the Poetic form “Kasa.” The choice of topic is entirely up to you.

I guess I kind of mixed both in this piece. I tried to follow the Kasa form, but I was too lazy to count syllables. I didn’t even realize this piece could follow the folklore with Lee Yeon. Sort of.

I edited the poem a bit. I’ll leave both versions here for comparison.



Categories: Poetry, Prose

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

57 replies

  1. This is perfect… I do love it. The darkness clearly follows some of the folklore…
    considering psychopathic tendensies … wow

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Wow! This is deliciously dark and enticing, Lucy! I especially love; “I stay as the monk’s ghost linger like Arabia’s perfumes.” Thank you so much for writing to the prompt. 💝💝

    Liked by 4 people

  3. the monks ghost line was just brilliant. but the apathy line was better as for me it felt right.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. You certain got the phrasing right, it hit with a solid thud

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Delicious and dark, it takes the Kasa to new heights. You met the prompt parameters and still created your chilling version of it. Another winner.

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Occam’s razor of solitude, quite the cutting concept.

    Liked by 5 people

  7. A lovely insight… and a learning opportunity because I have never studied formal poetic structure. Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 5 people

  8. So many fabulous lines – the monk’s ghost, the mirror for what I let die, garden bones dangle in illusion… As others have said, this is intensely dark and beautiful. Great write!

    Liked by 5 people

  9. Well executed here Lucy. Excellent. I am left empty by this prompt.

    Liked by 5 people

  10. This is where you excel Lucy. Absolutely amazing ☺️💕 I loved the garden bones dangle in illusion. Brilliant line!

    Liked by 5 people

  11. A wonderful poem Lucy. I must say i prefer the first one. I love the images in your poem….
    This one in particular..

    my garden of regrets
    in a woman’s beautiful face,

    Liked by 5 people

  12. Beautifully expressed, as always, Lucy. 💙

    Liked by 5 people

  13. Goodness, another fantastical and delightful bit of poetry. I cannot comment further than anyone else here, but I admit that “I considered apathy at once point / maybe even psychopathic tendencies / just not to feel anything beyond me / in solitude’s Occam’s razor.” to be particularly pleasant to my eye. As always, I adore the language and the foggy imagery you seem so skilled at manipulating. Kudos!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Oh wow, Masa, this is quite the compliment! I’m so glad you enjoyed this piece and I thank you for your feedback and kind praise. Admittedly, those final few lines were my favorite in this piece and I’m glad you liked them too. Thank you so, so much. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  14. To be honest, I loved the first part. Moving on to the final draft, I loved it even more. It was really intense and dark, yet the words had such a smooth flow to them. There were so many thoughtful lines so exceptionally written. You’ve mastered the art. Loved both the versions Lucy ❤

    Liked by 4 people

  15. I considered apathy at once point
    maybe even psychopathic tendencies

    f’n amazing, Lucy… Honestly, I wish I could write as beautifully as you do. Words like yours never come to me.


    David

    Liked by 5 people

  16. I second David. I can never write like you. That’s what makes your writing so beautiful for me! ❤️

    Loved the title too! 😉

    Liked by 4 people

  17. Beyond words Lucy! I love the last three couplets

    Liked by 4 people

  18. It’s interesting to see the evolution of your poem. Well done.

    Liked by 4 people

  19. May I simply say ~~~~ this is epic! First draft / and final kasa! “A mirror for what I let die” ~~ those words burrowed deep down.

    Liked by 3 people

  20. Waooo it’s great I give it seven strars

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Lovely 😍❤️👌

    Liked by 3 people

  22. your enjambments are well done and the darkness looms all over.

    Liked by 3 people

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  1. Solitude’s simplest explanation. – World Era

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